If I Did Something Really Big

I have ice cream leftovers on my left thumb. Also, I have them on the outside corners of my mouth, the back of my right elbow and the comforter on my bed.

I am not so typically messy.

Something must be different.

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I knew yesterday was going to be a terrible day from the moment I woke up.

As I typically work beginning in the morning and stretching into the afternoon, my groove was terribly thrown off by having to arrive at work at 2 pm. That's the afternoon. I had the whole morning to spend however I chose; the previous days being super productive, I decided that I would laze about and enjoy being young and alive. By mid-morning, however, I was bored to tears, trying not to do things I shouldn't and resolved to stick by my lackadaisical whimsy.

Work was sticky and hot, slow and confusing. A crushing blow was offered at the end; if that blow is reality, I am going to have a nuclear meltdown. But then, work was over.

The plan for the evening mutated, after it was realized that the green monster reared its ugly head.

I hate being the only one who sees things, sometimes.

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I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I performed some grandiose magic. I can't be sure whether or not I would decide to do something good; supposedly, it comes with being a girl that I could definitively decide to destroy those I hate without a second thought. If I only had one crack, I might work it upon myself, fix the demons that plague me almost endlessly. If the efforts were limitless, I might decide to be philanthropic after days and months of personal advances.

But, without any powers, I probably am severely parallel to every Joe and Jill. To break out of that mold, I would have to exercise either complete irrationality or a bold conviction. You see, I want to punctuate every sentence of my life with an exclamation point. And the things that I feel need the most oomph come at the most inconvenient and perplexing times. At every turn, I want to 90 degree angle - not to go directly behind myself, but to sharply turn in a new direction. And, as always with my secrets, that is ridiculously impossible.

I want to live what I play on TV.